A Survivor’s Guide to Narcissism
Lauren King
***read to the end to receive your free gasmask***
Narcissism: excessive interest in or admiration of oneself.
My vision was blurred by the narcissist in front of me, making them damn good at what they are. The toxic narcissistic gases that replaced the oxygen made me believe that they were the best living thing on this planet.
Yet substitute feelings with logic and that gas evaporates.
This gas only appears to be affecting you, maybe you missed the ever-so-crucial anti-narcissist injection when you were younger. Once inhaled, the gas will begin to target the five senses!
First: Sight! This is the strongest symptom and the hardest to reverse. The gas has blinded your judgement and no rub too vigorous can clear it. You now believe that they are the BEST. The best looks, the best personality, the best everything. This happens almost instantly after the initial inhale. Not only do they think they are superior but so do you. They appear to be an essential in your life and you are incapable of realising that you have been infected.
Second: Hearing! Since the gas is only blinding your judgement, others can see clearly. They will recognise that the behaviour of said narcissist is odd and begin to warn you. This triggers the gas to activate stage two, deafening you from those cries. How you survive stage two is simple – listen to those around you. We have established that your judgement is impaired therefore you have to listen to others. My experience came before the discovery of surviving so, not realising my weakened state, I listened to nobody. Leading to stage three…
Luckily, this is the beginning of the recovery process. Feeling is next to be attacked, more specifically, losing feeling. Narcissists steal your admiration! You have a limited amount of admiration and it is held within a canister in your soul. The gas will steal the contents and transfer it to the narcissist, causing their canister to overflow and yours to empty. At some point in this process, you begin to experience a feeling that sickens your stomach and aches your heart. The feeling of losing yourself. This is when you realise that something isn’t right, but the canister keeps emptying until you have moved to stage four…
Taste! Your remaining senses are heightened at the loss of the others, your taste buds are tingling. Unfortunately, this isn’t a blessing because the flavour is, possibly, the worst I have ever experienced (and I’ve tasted my grandma’s fish pie). This is the vital realisation that is going to beat this infection, it will feel great, but you have to bear this stage beforehand. When in the presence of the narcissist, this taste will be non-existent, however, when they leave it will inflame into a fiery nauseating tang; which only logic can dispel. The thought as to why you are experiencing such a disgust will churn in your head, and if you have suffered the taste enough, the fifth and final stage can begin…
CONGRATULATIONS!
You have woken up and smelt the gas! The logic has dominated your feelings and you have become immune to the noxious gases. Despite feeling embarrassed from allowing yourself to fall victim, you will feel empowered and rightfully so. You begin to spot their narcissistic behaviour, which is their biggest weakness. Although they despise that you don’t honour them anymore, they won’t dwell on it because they “know” they are worthy and will find another victim to feed off. Perhaps you should be grateful, I know I am, I am now a stronger person and definitely will not let anyone treat me so awfully again.
Anyway.
Moral of the story: bring a gas mask with you at all times.
